Hope all is well my friends

Let’s see an update on what is going on with us. Thursday evening after work I went to the airport to get Todd’s niece Cyndal ( lol she was named after a character from the Adventures of the Ewoks) and she spent the night with us. She is an absolute doll, So anyways when I got off at work at 2:30 went home packed our stuff, got the boys from school and we all took off for Payson. We had a real nice time, on Saturday Todd and I went for a ride on the bike and had a couple of beers. Cyndal took the kids out on the quads and watched some movies that night. We all came back down on Payson on Sunday and she left yesterday.

Todd’s dad is scheduled to have his feeding tube put in tomorrow, they will be starting his treatment of radiation and chemo sometime next week. He looks thinner and worse every time we see him. I am hoping that once they get the tube in and he gets some nutrition he will start feeling a bit better. He now can barely get down broth and water. I love that man and hate seeing him go through so much.

I hope the H’s are having a great time at Disney. Movieman call me!!!! Rob and Mei hope all is well, almost wedding time! Brig, hope your final weeks of being pregnant are going smooth!

Love you all!!!

Update On Todd's Dad

Well just got a call from Todd. He just heard from his mom, they are still at the doctor's office. Todd's dad has lost too much weight and is not well enough to have the reconstructive surgery. He will have to have chemo and radiation. They also are going to have to put a feeding tube in his stomach. This is awful, but the dr said in his current condition there is no possible way he could survive surgery. So the Dr is coordinating right now with the hospital in Payson to get him started. It is so sad to see such a sweet strong man start to deteriorate so quickly before your eyes. I know Mrs H can totally relate, it is very hard. I love Todd's parents so much. I just ask that everyone continue to pray for him and send loving thoughts this way.

I will update again when I have more details!

Love
Stephi

Women's Expo

It is April 8th and 9th. I am planning to go on Saturday the 8th. I hope Mrs H can come with me this year :-)

No more drinking during the day!!!

At war that is LOL Todd and I were in bed by 11 or 11:30 after a looooooong day of drinking and could not hang with Mr and Mrs H. We had such a great time while we were there though THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I once again managed to leave a pair of panties, I always seem to lose them and they were not even ones I had worn while there LOL Todd wants to get to work on building armor and starting to fight. I guess the sound of drums and the smell of campfire triggered something in him. Rylee was cute as could be on Saturday, the boys (including Todd) had a lot of fun playing with her. I love that little girl!

On an update note Todd's dad and mom will ber here tomorrow nighta as his dad has a surgical consult at 7am Wednesday, great news that his insurance will cover the reconstruction surgery. I will let you know what comes from that.

Mrs H call me or Todd if you want help cleaning the RV, he is home with Kenny today and would be more then happy to help!

Love you all!

Updates

Well let's see first Todd's dad's biopsy came back, definately cancer the good news is it has not spread. They can do either radiation & chemo or what they hope they can do as long as his insurance approves is a reconstruction where they remove the esophegeous and rebulid it with his own body's tissue. Once I know more I will let you all know.

Then yesterday I had let my friend Monica borrow my car for a few days and yesterday when she was getting out of the car at the gas station some chick hit the door with her car, thank God Monica had not put her leg out yet. the girl freaked yelling at Monica that she cannot call the cops or the girl and her boyfriend would be arrested, got in her car and took off. My boss and his son got the door shut again for me but we will need to get a new car door.

I am hoping to go out to the war Saturday for the day and night. Not sure if it will work out but we will see. i love you all!!!

Happy Love Day My Friends

Ok to the few of you who read this, you each get a special message today:

Todd- My love now and forever thank you for making me the happiest girl on earth! I love you baby!

Mrs H- I love our friendship, I cannot believe it has been a little over 10 years. You have been through so much with me, marriage, babies, divorce, good times and bad. I do not know what I would do without you! I love you!

Movieman- You always have been great to me, you have a heart of gold and I love ya for that. I am so glad we are friends. Thanks for always making me smile!

Mr H- You know I love ya, in a special Corky kind of way LOL You are a great friend too.

Rob - I am so happy you have finally found the love that you so deserve. You are a great friend, a sweet person and I am so happy we can hang out again now that your pet Rhinos have left. Love ya sweetie!

Brig - Well of course I still think you are weird, bit I love reading your blog and I am getting to understand you more and more with each post. Thank you for the prayers for my dad and for Todd's, that means alot and makes you that much less weird LOL I know you have a heart of gold and that at the end of the day is all that matters.

Mei - Here is a huge hug and love from Arizona! I had such a great time chatting with you Sunday. You are a special person and I am so happy that you have brought love, laughter, happiness and hope into my friend Rob's life. Best wishes to both of you and I cannot wait to meet you!!!

Ok there it is, my mushy I love you to all of those that read my blog! I am blessed with a few close friends and the love of my life. It is a good day, no matter how money broke I am I do know I am rich in friends and love!!!!

Been all over Northern Arizona

Well everyone an update. We came up to Payson on Thursday morning, Todd and I that is. His dad is in pretty good spirits, his mom is a wreck. So we hung out, went out with his dad for a ride on the Harley's, it was real nice. Then Thursday night I made dinner for everyone, as I did not want his mom to have to do anything. Well I called my dad that night, he is not doing good, his iron levels have dropped so drastically low they had to take him off the chemo-like treatment he is on for his Hep C. He sounded awful, I am worried about him as my step mom just had back surgery last week and will not be able to do much of anything for the next 3-6 months. So anyways dad had a dr's appointment in Holbrook Friday and would then get my step mom from Flagstaff Medical. Well instead so my step mom did not have to wait 3 hours after being dischared to get her ride home to Pinetop, Todd and I went and got her from the hospital, then met my dad in Holbrook, then came back to Payson.I was so tired, no cooking that night I let Domino's handle it LOL Then Saturday I had to go get the boys in Phoenix and bring them back up to Payson, so Todd's mom drove with me, we got the kids then went to Mervyn's, she bought each the boys a cute pair of pj's, got me a beautiful shirt and a gorgeous white silky nightgown with amazing bead work on the trim. She is such a nice lady, I love spending time with his family. That gave Todd time to change the oil on the Harley's, fill up all the tanks on them and go with his dad for a ride. We got back and Todd and his dad took the boys on the quads for awhile, they are taking them to the desert today to ride. Will likes riding with Todd's dad as he is conservative like Will when it comes to that kind of thing and Todd and Kenny are two nut cases!

Todd has been so incredible with the boys, every day I look at him and realize I am falling more in love with him everyday. I am so blessed to have him.I hope I can be there for him the way he needs me to be right now. I love him and would do anything for him. Well guys I love you all too! I am on IM with Mei so I am going to let you go!

Love
me

Bummer News

Just found out today that Todd's dad has cancer in his esophagus. Todd and I are heading up in the morning to spend some time with his mom and dad. I will keep you posted. Love you all!

Hanging in there

I guess that is what you can say I have been doing since finding out all the exciting new news about my children's father losing his job and not letting me know, which means the kids have no medical coverage. Well as most of you know I did apply yesterday for state medical care for them, I also told my ex I want full custody until he gets his act together, he said no, I told him he really should think about that answer again, cause if he does not agree I will just go file for it. Hmm let's see he will be jobless and living with his jobless pregnant wife at his mom's, I on the other hand have been at my job almost a year, may only make 31,000 a year but it is a job and at my place the boys have their own rooms and their own beds. Now whom do you think would win this one???

Todd has been my rock through all this; I do not know what I would do without him. He told me that while he will never be the kids dad or ever dream of taking his place he will be there for them and be a good father like figure for them. That meant a lot to me. He helps me be stronger and stand up for myself, give me the backbone I need. He told me the other night that I am a complete sweetheart and while that is wonderful to be (especially if you are Todd) that I do allow myself to get walked on because I do not want to hurt anyone else's feelings. He hit that on the head. This time is different those are my babies, I want only the best for them, and that includes the best for Bill, for if his life is in order and good, then my kids will reap the benefits of that. I have never once questioned his love for them I just choose to not have my kids be around the pot and stuff. As Bill asked last night and many of you are thinking, "You did not have a problem with it when we were living together" that is what many people seem to not get. I am not the same person I was back then, I do not want my kids around that, I do not smoke cigarettes in my house, let alone pot, I keep my home very very clean, I take care of myself, eat my veggies, etc etc, I am so different. I am also very happy with what I have done for myself and hate when people seem to think I still think and do things the same. I do not! I am not into whoring it up, gorging myself on food and all the bad things I did in the past. I want my children to be able to look up to me and respect me for taking pride in them, our home and myself. I am in love and I choose to be 100% faithful to him, I would not do a one-night thing to satisfy a quick need and then end up losing what will probably be a lifetime relationship.

I am so blessed with the friends I have also, Mrs. H has always been the best, supported me even when I made dumb decisions, and not saying I told you so to my face when they blew up in my face, Movieman for always making me laugh or ponder when I talk to him, Mr. H for kicking my ass when I get too big for my britches :-) and Rob for being easy to talk to and not taking it out on me I was once married to his old pet Rhino.

I love you guys~

See what my honey got me?

Todd is such a doll. I got a shiny object! LOL It of course is not an engagement ring, but an "I love you" and I am committed to you ring. It meant a lot that he did this for me. While I am not ready to get married again yet, this is the man I would like to marry someday.

Yesterday I went to the gym with Kris, it was fun having her to work out with. Todd is signing up today so we can all go together. We will all get buff and beautiful LOL

I am so excited for our friend Rob, he has met a wonderful lady FINALLY! He is getting rid of the riff raff and getting one of the coolest people I know as a roommate!

I cannot wait for all of us to get together and have some fun! Oh well I am going to get back to work!

Love
The DivaPrincess

With this ring

Yup Bill and Jenn are married, crazy to think of. Hard to believe 6 years ago when I met her I was looking in the face of my at the time husband's next wife. The boys were happy. Will told me that his family keeps getting bigger and bigger and that to him is so cool. I am glad they are ok with everything. That has been my biggest concern, I know I can seem over protective and all with them but they are my life.

I was a bit ticked when they dropped the boys off yesterday and told me they took them after school to watch them get married, I guess Hope was there too. I just do not think I could take off with the kids and get married and not give fair warning to Bill, "Hey today the kids lives are gonna change again". oh well not going to dwell on it. I am just happy that I no longer have any ties other then the kids to him. I do not need to know about his money problems, helping him with his budget, making dr's appointments, taking messages for the car finance people for him, etc. his wife can do that for him now.

You would think he would have learned from the first time that you do not get married just because someone is pregnant. Whatever. I will say if I ever get married again it sure as shit will not be in front of a judge and it will not involve ony 4 people being there. I will have a nice wedding, the dress, the maid of honor(Mrs H) and a flower girl (Rylee) and my family will be there, especially my mom. That of course will probably not be happeneing, but every girl can still have her dream in her head right?

oh well I love you guys, thanks for listening to my rant!

SO PROUD!!!

Just went to the Pride Assembly at Will's school where he was recognized for his straight A's and also he got the special achievement award for his class in PE! Bill and Jenn were there too, better let Rob know he needs to give them notice soon. Jenn quit her job, could not handle the call center thing anymore I guess. I asked when they were planning on moving and they said a couple of months, so let the man he may need to tell them real soon. If not then when they get back from war.

No thanks, I already have a Brother!

LOL that is what the boys are thinking. They both want a little sister, hope they realize she will NEVER be as sweet or cute as the Ryster! I am just hoping that everything goes ok with the pregnancy, it would be devestating for Jenn, Bill and the kids. While I think it is bad timing and stupid, I really do wish for them a happy and healthy pregnancy.

We had a great time at Todd's parents, we always have a blast with them. i love all my friends :-)

Cat's out of the bag

So by know everyone, except my kids, knows that Jenn and Bill are getting married and having a baby. My kids will find out this weekend, that will be interesting to see how they react. Weird thing your ex having a baby with someone else, I am so protective of my children that I really hope and pray that my boys do not get set on the backburner while he raises his new family. I swear I will kill him if he does. I am thinking I need to go to court, get full custody and have child support put automatically in their savings account. I need to protect them. Todd is such a great support for me with this, he has no problem with us having them more, they are better off here we provide structure, discipline and love. I was a little pissed to find out from my ex's landlord that she yells at the kids all the time while they are there. Bitch better not think she can step in and be "mom" they have a mom, a fucking great one and do not need someone else to try to take over my role. I guess I am more bent about all of this more then I thought I was. Anger is not a good thing so I will do all I can to hold back. But I am done, that is their dad, not my friend, he is their other family and I am breaking away from the friendship we had. I tried to do it so the kids transition would be ok, well they did fine, but now their world is about to be rocked and I have to be there for them and be the strong, reliable adult in their lives.

I thank God everyday that I have Todd here to help me through this and that I have the wonderful friends I do. I love ya Mr & Mrs H, Movieman and if he ever gets on here Rob. You guys rock and I am so looking forward to all of us being able to hang out at Rob's with no fucking dead weight bringing the place down!

We are heading off to Payson today, I will post what the kids say about this all when I get them back on Sunday!

Love
the DivaPrincess

Quiz Stolen from Movieman's Blog

BUTTERFLY - Your daemon may be a butterfly. It is
ironic that the butterfly traditionally
represents the psyche, yet it is one of the
least emotive physical forms that your daemon
can take. It is very hard to tell what a
butterfly is feeling, and perhaps that is why
you feel so comfortable with this form. You
have many, many friends and a beautiful soul,
but you don't like to reveal what your
innermost feelings are. You aren't afraid to be
yourself - you are vibrant and colourful. But
at the same time, you don't like to wear your
heart on your sleeve.


What Is Your Daemon?
brought to you by Quizilla

My Christmas Weekend

Well lets see:

Friday at about 8:00am we left to go to Payson, Todd, the boys and I. We had such a great time, I got his parent's hammered on white Russians and I spent hours talking with them I probably know way more about him then he would ever have liked me to know. LOL Well Friday night around 9:00 Todd came down with a fever and cough, it hit him like a ton of bricks, he got so sick. We came back down here Saturday and his parents came with us to help me wrap and do the beds cause we knew Todd was going to be in no shape to do any of it. Well Christmas morning comes and Todd's dad has come down with the crud, too. I was so pissed at my ex as he was supposed to have the boys over between 9 & 9:30 so we could all watch them do presents, they did not come until after 11. It was hard as this was my first Christmas not being there when they woke up. Todd said next year we get them Christmas Even and Christmas morning. Well Todd was still miserable he spent all day in bed, he was bummed, as was I, cause he could not come with me to my family's for dinner. That's ok I did have a nice time, my sister announced her engagement (thank GOD I was keeping that secret since Thanksgiving!) and my kids got spoiled again.

Well yesterday I woke up and guess who is sick now? Yup I feel like hell, Happy Birthday to me huh? This sucks. Oh well hopefully Todd and I will both be better by the weekend, we decided to celebrate everything together then. This weekend is all about Stephanie :-) We are going to my friend Andrea's for New Year's Eve, so that will be fun. I love you all! MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!!! (ok to the two sometimes 3 who read this) Oh and I was so surprised on Christmas I had a gift from Rob, that was very sweet of him!

My new smile

Well these were taken with a camera phone so they are not the best but you can get the idea. I am still very sore but other then that ok!

FINALLY~

Well I just got the call my dentures are finally in and I will be getting them today! WooHoo what a long friggin wait, but hey now i will have a great smile. So now I can start getting anxious over having 6 teeth pulled LOL Oh well.

I will let you guys know how things go when I am up to it. I am getting them tonight. My appointment is at 5:00pm.

Love
The Princess

The Quitting Smoking Chronicles

Well it has been since Sunday at 4:40pm since I had a smoke. I am doing ok with it, still get an urge once in awhile but I really do want to quit again. I think I am nuts trying to quit during the holidays, but figure if I can quit at this crazy time of the year then I am stronger then a lot of people LOL I will not lie the thought of not smoking when drinking sucks. If I could just smoke during that time I would be cool with it, but we shall see. I will take it a day at a time!

By the way this may sound mushy but I am so happy and so in love it is awesome! I love having Todd in my life, he is so awesome, treats me so well, is good to the kids, I think I found a keeper. He told me last night that I am the love of his life and he wants to be with me forever :-) that was sweet and made my night.

Ok enough of the mushy lol have a great day to the few that read this!

Love
me

FRIKKIN DELAY ON DENTAL WORK

Well I get there Friday all ready to go, they tell me that the denture is not made because they did not get a good record of my bite WTF??? Why was I not told this when I called almost a week ago to see if it was in? Guess the lab was supposed to call me and tell me I needed a bite exam, I was so upset and pissed. I did though get 200.00 knocked of my bill but now have to wait until December 9th. If it comes in before then, I will get it done right away.

Anyways the rest of the weekend was good, I was so bummed Friday that when we got home Todd said he knew how to cheer me up.....he brought out my Christmas tree and I got to put it up and decorate! Gosh I love that man. Oh and I quit smoking, has only been about 14 hours, but I am sick of the smell, my breath being yucky, the price and smelling like an ashtray. Wish me luck!

Love
The Diva Princess