Jerry Springer Episode

This was too funny! I went to this link javascript:ol('http://www.brainsluice.com/miscellanea/misc/jspringer.html');and when I did I entered in a few names, and some other stuff and it vreated this Jerry Springer episode LOL:

The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"


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[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Stephanie is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Kris. So everyone, please put your hands together for Stephanie!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now Stephanie you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: Phillip.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Phillip, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Stephanie, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Todd!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a Sword. Todd reaches for the Sofa. Out of the shadows Dave appears]

Dave: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Todd.

Todd: Because I saw Stephanie and Dave making out at Wal Mart!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

Dave: That's a lie! I was home watching Desperate Housewives!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Todd?

Todd: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Kris who has recently become engaged to Dave.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Kris out here because Stephanie had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Phillip that's right!

Kris: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Phillip! You know how I feel about Phillip!

Dave: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Phillip!

Kris: Because I knew that I could never have Phillip. But Stephanie promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

Dave: What about respect for my feelings!

[Todd walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Kris]

Todd: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

Dave: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[Dave runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

Dave: Stephanie take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

Dave: Married?

[You nod]

Dave: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Phillip.

Kris: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

Phillip: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 27 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Stephanie is married to Phillip who Kris has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Kris has recently become engaged to Dave who was recently spotted kissing Stephanie in Wal Mart. Now on top of this, Todd has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Kris.

Phillip: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.

[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]